Like any ingredient of a healthy lifestyle, Awakened Intimacy is not so much a one-and-done kind of thing. It is a path and practice. We’re supporting a transformation in how people orient to sex, pleasure, and intimacy. Change is hard, and in this case, it takes the willingness of both partners to go toward vulnerable and edgy things.
For this reason, we are creating new structures that make it safe for couples to continue to practice Awakened Intimacy through coaching, Q & A sessions, self-paced programs, leaderless support groups, recorded guided meditations, and home play activities. We’re in a generative period right now, so I’m excited to see what unfolds over the next several months.
Here are the questions that Ashley Dean, our Practice Manager for Passion and Presence, asked me recently about the changes that are happening right now…
How has COVID been both a challenge and opportunity for Passion and Presence?
COVID gave us a chance to rethink our business model and diversify our offerings. Our “brand” has been small boutique live events in the United States, Australia, and Europe.
We’ve used the pause to think out of the box and be creative around how people can get the support they need without us being there or without anyone having to travel. So, we’re in the process of developing shorter online programs, some of which will be self-paced.
We came up with the Intro mini-retreat, Erotic Presence for Pleasure, Connection, and Growth, because we wanted to offer a stopgap to live events that wouldn’t require much screen time. We also know that coming to a sex retreat can be anxiety-provoking. Usually, one partner is more ready than the other. The mini-retreat is a way to dip a toe in the water and get a short introduction to Awakened Intimacy. Now, we’ve decided to shift our focus to online offerings because they are accessible to people from around the world.
You sound very excited.
Yes, we’re so excited about them that we’ve decided to offer them quarterly. We’re in Europe, so people in Europe can attend if they are willing to stay up late on the first day. We’re also holding mini-retreats on May 28 & 29, 2022, August 6 & 7, and October 15 & 16 that people in Europe and Australia can join more easily.
Why do you love the Intro-Mini so much?
Erotic Presence for Pleasure, Connection, and Growth introduces our couples to four key skills that can radically transform their erotic lives and help them gently broach issues they may have been avoiding.
These skills are: Mindful Touch, the “Catch and Release” technique, Response-agility, and Befriending.
In two 5-hour days, couples are able to uncover beliefs, expectations, and habits that limit their creativity and reconnect in ways that build safety and trust.
That sounds great and also pretty intense.
We go deep, and at the same time, we encourage people to go at their own pace, honor their limits, and only do what feels authentic and comfortable. That is the mindful path, and the essence of Passion and Presence.
What is Mindful Touch?
Mindful Touch is a giving and receiving activity that increases curiosity and a spirit of exploration. It is the skill of resting awareness on the point of contact between the “giver” and “receiver” and tuning into sensations, feelings, and other things that arise throughout the practice.
Mindful Touch can change our orientation to sex, from “doing” to “exploring,” which relieves the pressure of doing it “right.”
The other three skills involve exploring factors that ordinarily limit our aliveness and erotic expression.
What is the “Catch and Release” technique?
We all carry beliefs and expectations about our sex life that can limit what we experience erotically together. We can use mindfulness to “catch” them when they show up and release them so we can come back into what I call an “Anything is Possible” state of mind.
During the retreat, we spend time mining for those beliefs since they ordinarily operate outside of awareness. We do exercises to explore how they shape our feelings, behavior, and attitudes about ourselves and our partners. Then we take the practice “to the sheets” as a homework activity.
What is Response-agility?
An analogy may help me describe this skill. Basketball players have lots of agility. They can pivot quickly and go in different directions. Response-agility involves developing that agility during sex by pausing and redirecting based on what’s happening at that moment.
In the mini-retreat, we practice Response-agility through a hugging activity. We pause to feel what’s needed and pivot rather than suffer through something uncomfortable (which creates sexual avoidance).
What is the skill of Befriending?
Befriending is the portal to awareness and the core skill of Awakened Intimacy. When we uncover a barrier to enjoyment, creativity, or responsiveness, we befriend it rather than turn away from it.
The intent is to revitalize our erotic connection and become more self-aware, compassionate, and open-hearted. We can find the curiosity and compassion to explore any activation mindfully by acknowledging discomfort and softening our defenses around it through befriending.
Honestly, aren’t we all a bit sick of doing things online?
Thank you for reminding me to talk about the structure because we are wiser about limiting screen time. Participants listen to recordings on the key concepts before the retreat begins, and we jump into the practices right away. We never meet for more than 90 minutes at a time and do off-screen exercises during each segment.
But here’s the thing: For how long are we going to put our lives and our erotic growth on hold? We don’t know when it will be safe to host live gatherings again, and we all need to source inspiration and hope somewhere.
For more about what Awakened Intimacy can do for your long-term relationship, and to check out our new online retreats, go to: https://www.passionandpresence.com/mini-retreat/
Warmly
Maci Daye
