Maci,
I really can’t express to you how grateful John and I are for your work. My heart is full and warm as I sit here, reflecting on the path we have walked as a couple over the last nine months.
When we signed up for the first Passion & Presence, it was out of desperation. I had been on depression medication for a year, I had no libido, John and I were living with his parents, and we were walking on eggshells with each other. We loved each other deeply, but John thought I was impossible to please, and I thought he was aloof.
I offered your workshop to him as an anniversary gift — as an olive branch, a way to tell him that I knew the lack of sex was bothering him, and I’d try harder. I had no idea that this “sex camp” would touch every far corner of our relationship, show us rooms we hadn’t even peeked in after ten years together.
The last six weeks, we’ve dropped down into a connection we’ve never known before. The teachings are clicking. As long as I can remember, I thought that I needed intense emotions to keep me safe. The more that my parents told me I was too sensitive, the more I clung to my rage, because it was the fuel I needed to battle my parents, and to eventually walk away. But you have given me something so much richer, so much more reliable as a protection: mindfulness. I now realize that to truly protect myself, to give myself the best life possible, my best bet is not to give into the stormy emotions, but to observe myself with compassion, seek grounding before it gets to be too much, and to trust the quiet wisdom that comes from self-awareness. That will always be a better protector in the long run than raging or shutting down. It feels like my protector part is realizing that I can do the job in other, less exhausting ways.
Of course, I have also learned just how utterly safe my partner is! How safe this container is! John is deeper than I ever imagined he could be. He is surprising me, attuning, giving airtime to parts I didn’t even know he had, but which are so attractive. It’s like we’re dating again! Here is this man in front of me who I can build a life with, but who can still send heat through my body. There’s mystery and intrigue and fun. It doesn’t get any better than this.
I want you to know that for this guy and girl, your work is life-changing. We feel utterly privileged to live in the same time as you, in the same corner of the world, and to drink up the teachings that you and Halko are offering. Thank you for your bravery, your compassion, your presence, your openness. You are an incredible human being.
With much love and respect
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